


shaken

by softhaze



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 16:58:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18347858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softhaze/pseuds/softhaze
Summary: my take on their first kiss.





	shaken

Soft music was drifting from phone’s speakers as Matteo sat on the bed, back against the wall and knees pulled up to his chest, head resting on them. There was a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, pulling, pulling him under. An ache. A mixture of guilt and sadness. Tears threatened to spill over and he rubbed at his eyes, over, over and  _over_. He didn’t deserve to cry. He didn’t.

He had broken up with Sara today after school. Finally. The guilt caused by the knowledge that he could’ve ended things way sooner, maybe didn’t start at all, was eating at him still. He couldn’t shake the heartbroken look in her eyes from the forefront of his memory.

And yet, the relief, when it came, was immense. It didn’t fix anything, didn’t lift the fog, but he held hope now, a tiny sliver of it, that there was a chance with David now. Maybe he could live something other than a lie.

And with that he was brought back to the look in David’s eyes last Friday night before their lips almost met. And he was brought back to the thrum of excitement that had coursed through him when he had realized what was about to happen, when their noses brushed against each other so softly it felt like heaven, when he had just for a second felt like the best—

Matteo was snapped back to reality by a soft knock on his door. “What?”

The door creaked open, revealing David in his trademark beanie, black hoodie and jeans. Matteo felt like in a dream. How could he be here? And so, just like a broken record, he repeated, “What?”

“I came to, um, to see how, um, you’re doing?” David adjusted the beanie on his head, looked to the side.

Had he perhaps already heard? The gossip mill was top notch in the school after all.

“Everything’s shit.” Matteo muttered, as if that wasn’t painfully obvious. As if the state he found him in right now wasn’t a clear indicator.

There was concern in those dark eyes though. “Can I come in? Or should I go?”

“Stay, please.” Matteo patted the bed, a clear invitation.

David carefully closed the door and came over to sit on the bed right by Matteo’s feet. They were so close now Matteo’s heartbeat picked up speed. A sliver of something other than the grey fog pressing on him coursed through, something alive, exciting. Matteo lifted his eyes to look at David’s face, traced his features with his eyes, drank him in.

A beat of silence as the song changed and then, “Do you wish to talk about it?” Concern, there was only _concern_  in David’s soft voice. Concern  _for him_.

A beat and suddenly Matteo was undone.

The tears that had been right there on the brink the whole time, fell quickly down his cheeks and he was helpless to stop them. His first instinct was to bury his head between his knees, to hide, but it just made breathing near impossible and he lifted his head above his knees a minute later. Clenched his eyes shut so not to see the disappointment that must be in David’s eyes upon seeing him being such a mess, upon losing it so quickly.

“Let it all out. You will feel better.” David’s voice was barely above a whisper, soothing and calm. That only made Matteo cry harder.

“I’m sorry.” He choked out.

“Hey, no, no apologizing.”

Matteo felt a cautious touch of fingers on his left hand. Afraid that David would retract the offered comfort, Matteo turned his hand around, palm up, and tangled their fingers together. He nervously waited for a reaction but David didn’t pull away. Instead, a thumb started to slowly caress the inside of his wrist.

It felt like a promise. David was here and he was not going anywhere. Matteo felt grounded by the knowledge.

It took time though until tears abated.

It took time, long enough that the playlist had restarted, that Matteo felt a headache building behind his eyes and for the position he was sitting in to become uncomfortable. He didn’t move though, revealing in the fact he got to hold David’s hand.

He brushed away stray tears gathered around his eyes with his free hand and looked at David at last. “You’re right, I feel better.”

David smiled and the corners of Matteo’s lips twitched in response. David noticed and his smile widened into a full out grin and Matteo could only stare at him in wonder, transfixed.

The moment felt charged, them staring in each others eyes. Matteo licked his lips, tasting the salt of his tears, and averted his eyes.

“Hey,” there suddenly was a hand on his cheek and Matteo startled. “Sorry.” The hand retreated.

“No, I just didn’t expect it. I’m a mess, I’m— ”

“Don’t you dare to apologize, Luigi.” David’s voice was firm.

“What you’d do if I did?” Matteo raised his eyebrows in challenge.

“I’d have to think of something that would keep you occupied until you forgot all about apologizing.” David’s eyes dropped to Matteo’s lips for a short while when he said that and Matteo realized that maybe they were on the same page.

Looking at David, warmness spread through him to the point he was afraid his heart would burst from how much affection he was holding in for the amazing boy in front of him.

And at one point it had to spill over. Why not now?

He didn’t think he ever wanted anyone’s lips on his as much as he wanted to have David’s right now. There were no obstacles now. Just them. Right now, right here in Matteo’s bedroom, a few centimeters between their faces.

When he realized that, all that was left was a question. 

“Can I,” he swallowed, eyes dropping to David’s soft lips, “can I kiss you?”

David’s answering smile was pure sunshine. “Yes,” he said on an exhale, leaning in.

Matteo met him halfway, chin tilted up and lips slightly parted.

The first brush of their lips felt like a relief, the second felt like benediction, and the third, the third felt like coming home.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on my [tumblr](https://isakvaltrsen.tumblr.com/tagged/my%20fic).


End file.
